It is a jungle out here, literally! As a 30-something, I have found myself at a dating crossroad. Should I date someone my age, younger or older? What will I be labeled as? If I date someone younger, I am considered a Puma or Cheetah (Cougar is a woman over 40, and Jaguar is a woman over 50). If I date someone older, I am considered a Kitten or Panther. Men who date younger women are considered a Manther or Trout. Men who date older woman are consider Cougar Hunters. Who comes up with this stuff?
After speaking with a few men and women about this subject and having my own experiences, I have discovered many pros and cons of dating someone younger and older. There are six areas to consider: maturity, intellectual compatibility, financial stability, sex, children and long-term commitment. Let’s start with the pros and cons of dating a younger man or woman.
Maturity – A man or woman in their 20s (and even early 30s) may not have “manned or womaned up” just yet. They may not be mature with many factors including communicating their expectations and feelings; exposure to experiences that may include cultural activities and traveling; or dressing apart for various occasions. In addition, some may see their older mate as a mother or father figure and expect to be taught or lead. On the contrary there are 20-somethings that due to life experiences are very mature and can teach an older person a thing or two.
Intellectual Compatibility – Can you think on my level? When it comes to intellectual conversations and stimulation, this is where the generational divide becomes more evident. Based on the phases Please turn to sorrell 2C
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we are in life, our experiences, education level, engagement with current events, and overall depth of knowledge on various topics, someone that is younger may not be intellectually compatible with an older person. This does not mean that either party is not smart, just may not be on the same page or level.
Financial Stability – Most 20-somethings are not financially secure, have not developed responsible spending habits and are unable to contribute to their partner’s expenditures and obligations. Thus, in some cases, they rely on the more seasoned person to provide the financial security (or be their sugar daddy/sugar mama). On the other hand, there are millennials that are savvy entrepreneurs, smart investors, and innovators and are accumulating wealth much faster than generations before them. As a result, they are financially stable and brings something to the table.
Sex - Frequently and as freaky as you want it. A younger person typically has a higher sex drive, has more energy and endurance, and is open to uninhibited sexual experiences.
Children – If you are interested in starting or expanding a family, dating someone younger can be a double edge sword. On one hand, the person is ready to start or expand a family. On the other hand, they may not be ready to do so as they are focused on their job, career, or business ventures.
Long Term Commitment – Will this situation take me to “I do” or “Until Death Do Us Part”? This may vary more so by gender. Younger men typically want to become financially stable (unless they are relying on their sugar mama) before committing to a long-term relationship or marriage. Whereas younger women are more open to getting married at a young age especially to an older man that is financially secure.
Dating a younger person can be exciting and sustainable, however there are possible shortfalls of course depending on your personal preferences and deal breakers. Stay tuned for Part II, Dating older men and women.
The Dating Chronicles is an advice column for women and men who are single (not just in your head, but really single), never married, recently divorced, widowed or for those who simply love a good read. Share your questions, frustrations, dating woes, and success stories to AskAnnMarie1@gmail.com. You can also follow Chronicles of a Serial Dater on Facebook and Instagram and post/DM your questions. All names will be kept anonymous to protect the innocent. To learn more about me and my book, Chronicles of a Serial Dater, visit chroniclesofaserialdater.com.